Which film features the line "As if!"?

Which film features the line "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."? Which film features the line "You is kind. You is smart. You is important."? Which film features the line "I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight."? Which film features the line "On Wednesdays we wear pink."? Which film features the line "I'm kind of a big deal."? Which film features the line "Son of a nutcracker!"? Which film features the line "It's not a tumor!"? Which film features the line "Mama says alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush."?